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  • 執筆者の写真Yuko

3-4. Higher Self will test me-Part1

I woke up the next day, it was a beautiful sunrise.


Once I removed my eye mask, blight sunlight beamed into my eyes. The east sky which my bedroom window faced was enlightened with a hue between orange and red. I opened the window. The crisp air carried a sense of tranquillity, while the sun’s gentle ascent brought life to the icy world, creating a breathtaking contrast between the chill of winter and the warmth of a new day. I covered myself with a blanket and I sat and crossed legs on the bed. I closed my eyes and breathed the crisp air. In the quiet embrace of a cold winter morning, through my third eye, hues of pink and fold painted the sky as the sun rose, casting a warm glow upon the frost-kissed landscape. 


I was shooting energy to the universe from my crown chakra and to the Earth from my tailbone while spinning a Melkaba in a pineal body with fresh cold air. I immediately connected to my higher self. It made me a little surprised. Usually, it takes a while to connect with her who lives in my Logos chakra, because I must go up to the chakras above my head step by step.  While connecting with her, I enlarged the Melkaba slowly and it swallowed me. I was in the middle of the Melkaba, where my higher self and I were facing each other surrounding protections. Honestly, I was not sure where we were. But I was connecting all chakras to her.


My higher self suggested that I should go back to the basics which Satchi taught me. She pointed out there must be something I missed or didn't understand well. Because those would grow my ambivalence toward Satchi and her. Sooner or later, it would highly likely stop pushing me further into spiritual activity in meditation for a while. It causes a crisis in which the great spiritual progress I made might unite with my ego. Then, I might experience great isolation in dark.  


It was high time to go back to basics to review all processes with her. She strongly requested if I have any questions, I should ask him because we will move to an important phase from now on. I agreed with her. To be honest, I anticipated that because I had an interesting prophetic dream last night. 


The skill to understand dreams is an absolute by-product of regular meditation. I experienced lucid dreams and gradually learned the skill of deduction from these dreams in meditation. Surprisingly, the answers exist within me and I unconsciously or subconsciously know the answers, while my conscious mind keeps acting like I don't know.  Then, I will hear the answers from others who were surrounding me. It took a while to understand this structure in which everything surrounding me is the projection of my subconscious mind.  


Am I right? I asked it to my higher self. She remains silent. 

So, Satchi, I will ask you. Am I right?


Interestingly, I realised that the dream last night was a precognitive dream when I connected to my higher self. Probably, this is the reason I connected with her immediately in this meditation. This is incredible progress for me after one year of regular meditation and writing a diary for both meditations and dreams.


I currently think that writing is a process of reflection and I reviewed the process in the next meditation. I mean that I did the same process consciously in the next meditation. There, I actively travelled through the fantasy I intuitively discovered in my previous meditation. But it was in the parallel world, not the same world in a previous meditation. It extremely helped me to develop another ability. I gradually understand dreams. Because the dream is also a parallel world.


At the same time, I would consciously shape the dream, make decisions, or even engage in activities I find enjoyable. Both activities offer a unique and immersive experience, blurring the line between imagination and reality within the dream world. 


I think there are pros and cons to dreams. Even Sachi said that dreams are not clear. 


This is the ambivalence toward a spiritual master my higher self had just mentioned before. And this is the purpose of my higher self. It came upon me in a flash of intuition. Because I still have a sense of uncertainty about my spiritual path. It may also impact my level of trust and commitment to my true self and the teaching of the guru.  Through introspection with my higher self, I will resolve this ambivalence and be able to seek clarity on my value. 


Is it a test? I asked to my higher self. 

Yes, but you must not follow any judgment now. She answered.


Probably, using dreams is my uniqueness. It works for me and my higher self asked me to show it. Interestingly, this ability is similar to the one I got from the Beluga in Neptune. Do you remember it? I wrote about my experience with my alien ex-husband in this blurring area between dreams and meditations a month ago.


It was one of the biggest active fantasies which arose not primarily from unconscious processes but from a deliberate inclination to absorb subtle clues or fragments of mildly expressed elements and vividly develop them in a visual manner. And now, I will set off another one according to my prophetic dream last night. 


Let me explain last night’s dream first. I accepted this test. 


I set off a journey and I was walking on a path through the woods. It became dark. There was a noisy place nearby and I found a large bonfire. About 30 people were chatting around the bonfire. I silently joined the circle. There were various kinds of people who wore distinctively different kinds of clothes. I thought that people from various tribes were interacting with each other.I sat near the fire for a while and I don't know why, but I started asking for some people that I was looking for a blacksmith. 



They shook their heads and they answered nothing, but instead, they asked others about a blacksmith. I noticed a man I knew. A young man I met at the Temazcal Sweat Lodge last year, his name is Vojta, which means "smiling warrior" in Slavic. I remembered him well. Because he first spoke to me about the Book of Five Rings, a book of swords written by a Japanese samurai called Musashi. Vojta the smiling fighter didn't notice me because he was on the opposite side of the big fire. A man approached me and pointed at him. He replied me that Vojta over there lived in the village of the blacksmith. I decided his village as the next destination.Then, I woke up. 


I opened my eyes. I started my day. 


The reddish morning glow had disappeared, and the sun was govern the world as usual. The day began as usual. I brewed coffee as usual, drank it slowly, and cleaned up the kitchen. I put usual clothes on and went for a walk with my dog, Inca as usual. I fed my dog and cleaned her teeth. Then I went to work. I thought to myself while I was driving down my usual route.


“How peaceful is it! Nothing hasn’t changed.” 

Once I thought that, a rainbow appeared.



In comparison, the last night's meditation and dream, and this morning's meditation were much more alive and vivid. My mind was empty and not attached to anything. I was accepting the fact before me. 


This was my second time. I felt similar, when I lost my beloved mother. It was four years ago. The very next morning she disappeared from me, through my eyes swollen with tears, I saw the same scenery as always. Nothing changes. As usual, the birds were chirping and the sun was rising again. It's the same. This is the case, isn’t this?  


What does it mean to become enlightenment?


I was unconsciously connected to my higher self.


Sachi, the first two simple questions appeared.


How did you realise that you were enlightened?


How did you know all the blocks were gone?


It was a busy day while I was empty in my mind. I had an examination of Kendo, Japanese swordsmanship this evening. This was one of the goals I set in the year 2023. I set three challenges. The one is to pass this Kendo examination. If I pass, I am qualified to challenge the first Dan next year. The second one is to pass the five Czech tests for citizenship. The last one was to be enlightened. 


The first one had just passed today. And the second challenge was passed a half. I passed four tests out of five and failed the reading test in which I missed only one point. I was quite shocked, but there was no way. I didn't study for reading at all. I must go back to basics and retake the same test next year. Then, for the last challenge, now I would take a test of my higher self. 


I drove back home with my daughter who tried a Kendo exam too. I noticed the full moon. I took a hot shower and prepared for meditation. I sat on the bed under the moonlight. I am ready for another test in meditation. 


Let's go! Satchi


I sat in a lotus pose, straightened my spine, and engaged my core. I grounded myself to the earth while also drawing in energy from the universe. This moment is truly cherished; I felt an extraordinary sense of vitality this time. I focus on deep breathing and relaxation as much as possible. This allows Kundalini energy to flow freely from the chakra below my base chakra. I was welling up Kundalini energy and drawing down sparkling energy from the universe. 


Antahkarana! 


Satchi, you mentioned that the Antahkarana is the Psychic Tower of Connection of Infinite Energy and immortality between heaven and Earth. 


Antahkarana gives me hope. Whenever negativity arises in my thinking, feeling, and willing, I meditate. Through this practice, Antahkarana dispels negativity, allowing me to find hope even in the most challenging times. By connecting the lower aspect, which holds negativity, to the higher aspects of my mind, I expand my vision to the universal consciousness where my higher self resides.


I connected with my higher self and returned to that fire in my Soul chakra. There, two of my black moon and white moon who had been dancing together were peacefully sleeping by the fire. 


A tapestry was flying above like a large leave. There was a west wind. It stirred sparks flying upward. Under flying sparks and the tapestry, a man was there. 


This is your shadow. I heard the voice of my higher self. She seemed next to him. But I didn't see her, but her existence was much bigger than that man. He must not be my shadow. My shadow must be those two sleeping women. 


Yes, you are correct. But you are a bit complicated. My higher self responded. Normally, the same gender as yourself develops deeply within. It encompasses everything you have suppressed and separated from.  


This shadow side of yourself projects onto people around you. Because you stopped communicating with her directly to suppress and separate from her. That is why they communicate with you through them.


I had noticed that projection. I answered to my higher self. 


She continued. "But you failed to recognise this projection onto your ex-husband as well as your past partners. You lacked the insight and strategies to comprehend it. The projection through the opposite gender conceals the shadow even more than it naturally is and your shadows are multiple and extreme."


"Don't forget that it could be the best part of yourself that your partners were showing you. But you must understand the projection inside out. You must listen to what your shadow wants from you and your life so that she can be consciously expressed." 


"Look at him. You found him and he has been in Logos since then because of this task. We meditated together several times in my palace in Logos." My higher self explained well.


I knew him very well and had connected to him as the other half of myself as my masculinity. He looked like the drawing on the right. He healed me and helped me to understand myself. But I could not infuse him into my Soul, even if I tried it a couple of times. 


My higher self continued. Because you need him to understand your shadows. His role is not to heal you. You must work with him and the other two of your shadows and create something meaningful and also beautiful. Through the process, you understand and accept the parts of your shadows that you keep hidden from others. It allows you to explore aspects of your personalities that you would not normally acknowledge. But your shadows communicate through him. He is an interpreter. Then, you can fully understand that other half of yourself that projected onto and manipulated your past partners as well as your father and brother. 


This is your next task. 


I went toward him and hugged him as a good friend. I knew what we would do from now on. Because my dream showed me last night.


"Let's go to the village of the blacksmith."


While I was looking into his eyes, the tapestry fell before us.


"Yes! It is a flying tapestry. It will bring us everywhere."

We sat on it and I ordered, "Let's go to the secret temple in my Monad chakra!" There, I met a blacksmith in the temple a year ago. Monks in the temple in Monad  created the armour for me. I still remember the sound when they hit iron. They must know where the blacksmith’s village was. 


Do you remember that story, Satchi? 

I wrote this story in the first review I sent you a year ago. 


Love and Light

To be continued.


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